Do Not Fret

Earlier this month, I was feeling a little anxious.  I have been trying to learn not to look to food or television or Facebook when I need comfort.  I know that if I need comfort, I need to turn to the Comforter. So, I took out my Bible and opened to Psalm 37.  It has been a favorite Psalm ever since I heard Charles Stanley preach on it many years ago. Another reason I like it, is because it uses the word, “fret.” My dear husband loves to tell me, “Don’t you fret now.”  So, as I read the Psalm it’s like I can “hear” God saying, “Don’t you fret now.”  When I told Pat this, he was amused.  He said he never knew he was quoting Scripture.

As I read, I journaled:

Vs 1 Do not fret because of evil men, or be envious of those who do wrong; (DO NOT FRET because of cancer or be envious of those in good health.)

Vs 2 For like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.(For like the grass, cancer will soon wither, like green plants cancer will soon die away.  What do I do in the meantime? While I’m waiting?)

Vs 3 Trust in the LORD and do good.  (Do the things You have called me to do: take care of my family, pray for others, serve others, study, draw near to God, memorize Scripture.  I just need to keep doing the things He’s asked me to do: Bible Drill, Women’s Ministry, mentoring) Dwell in the land. (Keep on living…do what I would normally do…just LIVE!) and enjoy safe pasture.  (Enjoy the many blessings God has provided…my husband, my children, my family, my friends)

Vs 4 Delight yourself in the LORD. (focus on Jesus, read His Word, talk with Him, worship and praise Him) And He will give you the desires of your heart.  (Many of my desires are between me and the Lord.  But here are a couple I listed: that me and my family would fulfill the purposes for which He created us, provision for our emotional, relational, spiritual and physical needs until death)

Vs 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him and He will do this: (to the best of my ability, I commit my way to You and trust You…help me where I am weak.)

Vs 6 He will make Your righteousness shine like the dawn. The justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Vs 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. (DO NOT FRET when it looks like satan is succeeding, when he carries out his wicked schemes, like cancer, financial loss or relational distance.)

Father, You are good and You have good planned for me and my family. Cancer WILL NOT thwart Your plans.  Help me to trust You as I wait.  Help me to look past physical circumstances and trust what You are doing in the spiritual realm. In Lamentations 4:22, You promise that You will not prolong my exile.  I feel as though I have been exiled to the land of cancer.  Help me believe my pastor’s prayer for me; “That You would be so visible through this, that no one can doubt that You are real and that You keep your promises.” Be so visible that I can’t doubt, my family can’t doubt, our families can’t doubt, our church family can’t doubt, our community can’t doubt, all of those who are praying for me can’t doubt, all of those who are graciously reading this blog can’t doubt that You ARE real and You DO keep Your promises.

Vs 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; DO NOT FRET, it only leads to evil. (Fretting leads to me fearing and not trusting Your goodness and that is evil!)

Vs 9 For evil men will be cut off, (For satan and his followers will be cut off!) but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.  (You have a good inheritance for me…a good plan for my future.)

Vs 10 A little while and the wicked will be no more, though you look for them, they will not be found.  (A little while and satan will be no more, though I look for him, [I don’t know why I’d be looking for him!] he will not be found. Hallelujah!)

Vs 11 But the meek will inherit the land AND enJOY great peace!

It’s almost time for me to leave to go to church but vs 19 has me in tears. (I guess I had peeked ahead.) In times of disaster (cancer) they WILL NOT wither.  (This is a promise, please don’t let me wither.)  In days of famine, they will enJOY plenty! (Provide plenty and help us to enjoy what You provide for us until we come home to You!)

This is just a little insight as to how I journal and how I interact with God and His Word.  When I had finished, I felt much more at peace and my faith in God was strengthened. I was comforted by the Holy Spirit and His promises.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my oncologist/surgeon to discuss plans for treatment. During this waiting time, I have been doing a lot of research, making a lot of changes and praying.  Please pray for me as I talk with the doctor that I won’t feel bullied into making choices that I am not ready for.  Pray that I will be a good ambassador for Christ as I talk with her.  Pray that I would be bold and stand for what I believe God wants me to do at this time.